The Bullshit Test, [Part 3 of 3]

**Page Two**

If you answered NO to all five questions please skip to SECTION B on PAGE 3.

ANSWER KEY

* Question 1

If you answered yes to question one.

There is a high probability but not guaranteed that you are less than honest. Some folks simply form their sentences in this way. You may want to consider changing things up with a verbal overhaul. Anyone who has studied how to spot a liar will notice these words and phrases. You may be unjustly flagged as being full of shit.

As for the guilty, it’s like this. If you have to make an announcement that you’re preparing to be honest then odds are you spend a lot of time bullshitting people. Of at least attempting to bullshit folks because a high percentage of people are aware of these Liar Tells. Using these words and phrases tend to get the user immediately red-flagged as being less than honest. Whether or not the judgment is accurate means nothing. It’s all about perception.

* Question 2

If you answered yes to question two.

Just face it here and know. You can’t keep your lies straight. Maybe you should begin keeping bullshit notoes. In fact, maybe you already do. If that’s the case this test must seem either slightly amusing or slightly terrifying. Either way, it was written for you.

* Question 3

If you answered yes to question three.

There are two issues here. First, you’re a liar. Second, you’re listening skills are terrible.

* Question 4

If you answered yes to question four.

Not only do you speak lies but you may be personably responsible for rewriting history and you should be ashamed of yourself.

* Question 5

If you answered yes to question five.

High ranking liars of this kind also tend to be cheaters as well. Cheaters betray not only their partner but the entire family. Keep in mind that a person can’t be a cheater and still honor their family at the same time.

Note: These liars tend to inflict high levels of damage to their victims sometimes resulting in mental health issues. This is situational and is usually determined by the victim’s mental health condition at the beginning of the toxic relationship.

ATTENTION: If you answered yes to one or more questions then please skip to PAGE 4. You earned it through all of your hard work.

**Page Three**

SECTION B

Why are you reading this?

B1)

If you’re reading this because you answered no to all five questions then you deserve a cookie! Due to the challenges of passing a cookie to you through your cell phone, tablet or computer you will need to acquire the cookie on your own and then invoice me for the cookie afterward. All cookie invoices will be handled accordingly. ✓

B2)

If you’re reading this section you cheated to get here? This test was written for you for two reasons.

B2.1)

You need help. Help to begin the self-inventory process. Help to change your path of lies and cheating.

B2.2)

And, I’m not in the business of handing out cookies.

**CONCLUSION**

✓ Okay here’s the cold hard truth, and the cookie reality. You’re not getting one. At least not here and now. While it is possible to achieve a cookie achieving status, you’ll need to work a little harder in order to achieve it. The decision is completely yours. Like I said, a really good reason. 😉

**Page Four**

If you were instructed to read this page please continue.

Even though you’ve identified yourself as being less than honest there is still hope. Lots of liars change their ways and I’m a living example. There was a time in my life, many years ago, that I struggled to keep my lies even halfway straight. If you’re interested in making changes in your life then you need to start the self-inventory process asap. Even if you’re reading this and you are not a liar you should still self-inventory. Everyone should put in work to make changes in themselves and their lives. Besides, that’s how you really earn a f*****g cookie!

Joseph Shanklin

shankjoejoe.com