Feeling Too Much, Part 1

Additional Readings,

[Damages Part 2], and
[Another Bus Ride].

…….

There are people that don’t feel. There are people that feel. There are people that feel everything and everyone around them.

I realize that it’s not that simple, and there are more than three types of people in our world, but today I’m writing something for those that connect to everyone around them, and all of the emotion that comes with them. I’m writing this for [The Empath]. And yes, I’m one hundred percent sure that they really exist.

Imagine a bus ride from home to work. As you wait for the bus, thoughts of what’s in store shift through your mind, similar to the anxiety one feels during that period of time while they stand in line outside of a haunted house. Questions surface. Questions like, will anyone else notice me noticing them? How bad will it be this time? And, this time, will I reach the end, or have to bail out somewhere in the middle?

The bus arrives quickly, ending the tortuous question and answer session. As you step aboard, one more question is presented. Why is it that every time you ride this bus route, it’s either empty or standing room only? It must be a coincidence, one of those, you only notice because you’re anticipating it to happen situations.

As you make your way to the back of the empty bus you realize something tragic, no headphones, damn that’s very disappointing, and slightly terrifying since you use headphones like a knight uses chainmail armor. It’s too late, can’t go back now, if you’re late once more for work then you might not have a job.

Determined to maintain a state of equanimity, you try desperately to recall the advice that was recently given to you by a trusted friend. What was it that he said to you on that cold snowy evening?

Thinking back to last week, the conversation went something like this. He told you. Fuck fear, stop trying to hide from who you are. And, try running towards the danger, or in this case, what terrifies you. Sometimes you just have to switch to offense, not towards the other public transportation patrons of course, but towards whatever it is that’s holding you back from living.

Your friend suggested that you should make an effort to try something new the next time that you get on to the bus. Instead of merely trying to survive the ride, try a completely different approach.

It’s not that complicated. First, begin by relaxing. Then focus on your breathing, nothing complicated, just relax and breath. Prepare to close your eyes, but before doing so, take a mental snapshot of everything on the entire bus. Make an effort to take in everything, all of your surroundings, each detail the best that you can, including where each passenger is seated, what they look like, and what they are wearing. Then, relax and close your eyes.

End Part 1

Thank You,

J.S.

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