A few months back a wrote a piece about “The Three Second Rule”. What is this rule?

In simple terms: The maximum length of time one person should [in good taste] check out another person, particularly while in public, on the street ECT.

Originally, the subject had been brought up during a Men In Recovery Group that had been attending until recently, as required by the terms of my probation. If you’re new to my blog; I’ve been on probation for one year, and I have a few months remaining. So, the subject of The Three Second Rule had been raised by a group member, and it went like this.

When on the street, nobody should gawk of stare at another person for longer than three seconds, otherwise they are violating that person’s boundaries and possibly more. Just Northwest of Denver we have a little town called Boulder Colorado. Boulder has passed legislation regulating such matters, and I’ve heard it’s being enforced; and in my opinion, that’s a good thing.

Of course being a man, all I can do is give my opinion from one man’s point of view; so here it is. Most of these situations arise from men towards women, and that’s not surprising to me in the least. Why is that? It’s not very complicated. We [men] are constantly attracted to, and looking at women. Let’s face it; it’s always been like that, and hopefully, it always will be. Women are beautiful and want to look beautiful; and men are attracted to that beauty. Why do we have problems? Because, some of us can’t restrain ourselves, thereby taking things much too far. As much as believe that most women want to be attractive, and be noticed by men [or women depending], I also believe that very few if any women appreciate whistles, catcalls, verbal abuse, or being stared at in an intense way that can only be described as: A “Mental Sexual Assault”. I see it every day, and I’ll add this bit of information. It’s an awkward and embarrassing situation for this man [myself], to be standing [working] on the street anywhere close to another man while he commits his violation. Furthermore; it’s just plain creepy to see a creeper at work, creeping out a passerby on her way to lunch, or wherever she may be strolling to. Fortunately for me, it’s only awkward and embarrassing. Unfortunately for the woman on the receiving end of the Mental Assault, it’s obviously much more than just awkward and embarrassing for her.

I’m currently working in a job located in Downtown Denver, right in the heart of the city, and I’ll be there until approximately June of 2020. That particular area of 17th Avenue is host to some of the most attractive women I’ve ever had the pleasure of sharing the same sidewalk with, and I consider it a “perk” of the job. That being said, I keep my boundaries and do my best not to let my eyes get the best of me. As a divorced single man who has remained dateless for over four years, I’ll continue to be attracted to and look at women for up to [approximately] three seconds. Although; on a few occasions I’ve had to walk away, reset my stopwatch, and then return for an additional three seconds. Hey, I’m not an Angel, just a man who loves beautiful women. Of course if by some twist of fate our Universe; with it’s a neverending sense of humor, happens to place the right woman in my path [not literally on the sidewalk], then maybe someday I’ll have a reason to stop looking [yes completely].

A MESSAGE TO MEN [and women] everywhere: There are men and women in this world that can feel much more than you ever imagined. Consider this? The next time you’re fantasizing about that person on the street or on the job, what if that individual could feel absolutely everything; not physically, but emotionally. Guess what, they’re out there in our world. Furthermore, stop and think about what the heck you’re doing, and what you may be triggering. We are all damaged. [please see post – Damages]

Thanks for reading❤️!

Joseph Shanklin

Sunday, December 22, 2019

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