As a child, my mother [single parent] implied that all things were possible. Nothing was off the table, and from a young age, I endorsed the fantastic as validated reality. All of that changed during my twenties when I became a professional and started wearing a tie. Suddenly, I decided that growing up must include shutting down the [nothing’s impossible] area of my brain.
I would spend my twenties, thirties, and most of my forties searching for a normal life. This life would include marriage, divorce, and eventually multiple bad relationships. The last of which transformed into something comparable to the ugliness of combat.
Sadly, I allowed myself to settle; investing too many years into a toxic relationship. In the end, the people I’d attempted to call family had done the unspeakable. Evil was invited into our home. Refusing to embrace their foul way of life, I was eventually demoted to unwelcome houseguest. Some day I may share the entire story, but that day hasn’t come yet.
What does this mean? I made a decision that I cannot take back? Well, I asked the Universe for something that already belonged to me. No, this doesn’t have anything to do with darkness or evil. Although, the details of that experience are sensitive. Further disclosure of something so personal would not be wisdom. Besides, now that I’ve reconciled with the mother of my children, my wife doesn’t like to hear me speak of such things.
Even if I knew what was going to happen, I could not have prepared myself for the transformation that would begin to take place before sunrise.
August 23, 2020