Last week while attending a Zoom support group, I heard someone say, “when do the arguments stop?” The individual was referring to the battle in their mind between maintaining sobriety and relapsing.
Even though it’s been a while since I’ve self-debated getting high, I can remember that argument well. If I remember correctly, it goes something like this.
Sobriety: Things are going well; I don’t want to use.
Addiction: You’re strong enough now. It will be fine. Go ahead and use one time!
Sobriety: If I use, I’ll lose everything.
Addiction: You’re strong enough to use one time and then stop!
Sobriety: If I use, I’ll keep using. If I use, I’ll stop writing. I love writing! I cannot lose writing!
Addiction will always take everything. Like all relationships, we have a tendency to romance the good times. How many of us have gotten back into a toxic relationship with someone because we think about those good times? Unfortunately, it always ends the same.
I remember the day I ended my relationship with drugs forever, kicking that evil bitch to the curb to stay. When it comes to addiction, there are no good times.
September 3, 2020