It’s a well established fact; not all Drug Addicts are Dirt Bags. Furthermore, not all convicted Drug Offenders are Dirt Bags. That said, many of them are Dirt Bags or worse.

For Convicted Drug Offenders, I believe there should be a balance between enforcing consequence and allowing someone to keep their dignity. Keep in mind, from the moment of conviction, the state gains power over the convicted. For those sentenced to Prison, Community Corrections, or Probation, the world will never be the same.

Okay, so unless you’ve had to pee in a small cup while someone watches, you can’t possibly understand what such a situation feels like. It’s slightly different for men and women, but not only slightly. Imagine standing in a [very] small restroom with a toilet and hand sink. Some facilities may require you to drop all clothing to the floor and lift your shirt to prevent cheating. They don’t want anyone using a fake weiner. Hey, it’s happened before. The urinal or toilet is surrounded by mirrors. During the entire process, some dude is standing to your four or five o’clock, and watching the stream fill the bottle. He may or may not be attempting to hold a conversation throughout the entire ordeal. If not, you can count on noises, sounds, and other strange distractions taking place. Back when I was on probation, one guy leaned over while I was peeing [by my junk], and began cleaning the sink. Yep, his face was about one foot from my waist.

I’ve been off probation for more than a year. During those two years, I submitted three or four Urine Drug Tests each week. I cannot remember how many creepy people I came in contact with while testing. Several of them were terminated for inappropriate behavior towards clients. On one particular Friday during my UA, the staff member asked me what I’d be doing that evening. I told him that I would probably do some writing. He told me he’d be going to a gay orgy. I didn’t tell on him, but someone else must have. He was fired a few days later for something similar.

Why does anyone take a job watching people pee? Better yet, why would someone volunteer to watch people pee when it’s not their job? For example: A Sober House Resident. Who wants to watch men or women pee? Apparently, these Pee Creepers are out there. Protect yourself from Pee Creepers!

All of this is another reason not to use drugs. You see, drugs really are bad. Unless you want a future that includes some creeper staring at your junk while you use the restroom; just say, “no!”

Pictured: A UA Facility Restroom.

Joseph Shanklin

October 3, 2021

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